Relationship Problems and their Solutions
The truth that we all must embrace is that whenever two people are coming together for the sake of the love they have for each other, problems must abound. The bringing together of two completely different people will always stir up some level of compatibility problems. The way the people coming together understand the disparities between them and the ways of making these disparities not to come between them is the best thing that will happen to relationships. You can never get a problem-less relationship. The problems must come, but the fact remains that you can manage them well if you are knowledgeable and prepared enough.
The relationship problems come in different ways and forms. The problems that one relationship is facing might be completely different from what the other is facing. In some cases, two different relationships might be facing problems that are similar, but with slight differences. Again, while we have a lot of solutions that you should try out if you have relationship problems, there is no guarantee that the solution that worked for a similar problem between one couples will work between another couples. Things are completely particular and different when it comes to relationship problems. You will only get it right when you are aware of this and therefore cease from comparing your situation with that of another.
Causes of relationship problems
There are numerous causes of relationship problems. In some cases, these causes turn out to be the main problems being experienced, while in other cases, they are just the causes that lead to deeper relationship problems, especially when not tackled at the earlier stages. The truth is that while all relationships have problems, it is not always that these problems lead to breakups. Many relationship problems are solved and the relationship gets even deeper.
One of the major relationship problems is caused by the imbalance of power in the relationship. In the olden days, it used to be a situation where the man does everything and the woman is at the receiving end. But, a lot of things have changed now and everybody wants to be heard. The case of one person in a relationship making decisions about virtually everything from friends, finances, household issues, vacations, beliefs and others, might make the other person to feel bad. The ideal thing is that each relationship should be stable and balanced, and every person should make an input. Decision making should be for all involved.
Many people will be surprised at this. But the truth is that one of the causes of the relationship problems of these days includes isolation from family and friends. there is always the tendency for the couples to isolate themselves from all external influences including family and friends, because they feel they are in love and wants to be together all alone. This is not healthy. Regular interaction with other people will help foster relationships.
This is the cause of more than 70 percent of the relationship problems of these days. This involves acts of lying deliberately, so as to achieve something momentarily. There is always the tendency to promise a lot when the going is good. Never promise what you cannot give in a relationship. Once there is a constant break of the basic trust in a relationship, it will lead to relationship problems. When this leads to lack of trust, there will always be the desire to stay apart, and this is the worst thing that can happen to any relationship.
There are some things that we are meant to believe in the past, which the society has overtaken. This might not be the best thing the society has offered us. But they are now present and we have to deal with them. Those beliefs that quarantine men to some particular functions and ladies to some might lead to relationship problems. The most witnessed is when the couples believe that the men should earn more money and make more financial exploits, and this is not happening, or when there is the belief that all household chores must be done by the lady. Things like this might lead to relationship problems when we believe they must happen, and they are not happening.
This is one of the natural attributes we all enjoy. It can be the normal one and can be the delusional one. The truth is that when one is in love with the other, he wants the other to be his and his alone. So when it seems the love is being shared by another, it leads to very deep relationship problems.
Lack of proper communication
Communication is the basic thing needed in relationships. Thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, opinions, plans and failings of each partner must be shared with the other. When these are hidden, there is lack of proper understanding, and this leads to relationship problems.
Unhealthy physical behaviors
This involves any attempt to take physical advantage of the other. It involves all forms of physical, emotional, and even intimate abuse of another partner.
Low self-esteem and self-knowledge
Many people do not understand that there are cases where relationship problems come because one partner has a feeling that he or she is not worthy of the love, but this happens in many cases. This can lead to some level of dependence, which might reduce the love of the other partner and cause relationship problems. On the issue of self-worth, when people do not know their dreams, needs, desires, values, goals and plans, it will be a very big problem for the partner to understand them. This leads to relationship problems.
Solution to relationship problems
If your main problems in the relationship are caused by a lack of proper communication, you can adopt measures that will help you solve these. The solutions that you can adopt include making an appointment where the main aim is to talk. If you feel the casual talk is not happening, set out a date for talking alone. If the relationship problems are due to lack of proper communication, you have to ban the use of words that leads to the quarrels. Don’t say a word until he or she is through with the speech. You can go out in the open for the talks, so that the shouting that leads to fight will not happen. Find places where you will be embarrassed to shout. Nod your head to show that you are listening to what he or she is saying, and don’t pick your nails or look at your watch when the other is talking.
If your relationship problems are caused by sex, you have to sit down and plan on how to make sex more exciting. This might involve having a quickie before or after work or doing it in odd places like the stairway, kitchen, and bathroom. Don’t make sex a night thing. Sex in the afternoon can be a great thing too. Just find scenarios that turn both of you on and make a calendar. This increases the anticipation.
If money is the cause of your relationship problems, you have to first of be sincere about what you earn and what you have. Spend according to what you can afford and cut down when the money is not coming as it used to. Meanwhile, the other might not be a saver or spender as you are. You just have to accept this. You have to show you financial documents, allow each to have money to spend on things he or she likes, make a list of things to be done by each with each person’s money and make all financial issues even and open.
If the home chores are the issues that are causing your relationship problems, then talk about it. The simple thing is to share the chores and let each person have the ones he or she will be doing. If both are working, this is the best thing to do. But if not, then the person who stays at home will definitely do more. However, if one is in love with home chores, the other can allow him or her take on that, while he or she takes on other things like laundry, errands, etc.
If it is lack of interest, then you simply have to get back on track by reviving all the things you used to do during the good old days. Yes, those things like showing appreciation, compliment, talking and chatting for long hours, calling whenever you are not with your partner, calling pet names etc. Get back to these.
General solutions to relationship problems
Don’t expect your partner to love your friends as much as you. But that does not mean that you should give up friends that mean a lot to you because of the relationship. Meet the ones he does not like in private and allow the ones he or she likes to come around.
You must discover what you want from your partner, what he or she wants from you and what you want from the relationship. This must also be known by each of you.
You also have to know that it is not all that you need that can be given by your partner. Never expect this. But find ways of meeting other needs outside the relationship. Do not expect too much from your partner.
You must also be willing to negotiate with each other and get to a compromise when it comes to what you want from your partner and what your partner wants from you. When this is done, relationship problems are avoided.
You must also see things from the others point of view. Even if you do not accept that or agree with them, just understand why he or she is having such view and respect that. When this is the case, you can always negotiate for a middle ground.
The next is that you must develop proper compassion for your partner. This is very good for every relationship.