What is Proper Parental Guidance?
When you take a very good look at the society of today, you will simply agree with me that most of the problems we encounter in the life of teenagers are simply because of the nature of the homes where they were brought up. It is a natural attribute that human beings will always look out for theirs. No man is an Island and none can survive as one. Learning starts from the cradle and lasts forever. This is why it is very difficult to un-tutor people who grew up with the wrong teachings. For your child to be integrally formed, they must have proper parental guidance. While the kindergarten schools are meant to train your child academically, the everyday moral and ethical upbringing of the kid comes from the parents. The core thing here is to let them know how to relate with people properly in the society. The concept of modern “alonism” has relegated the function of the community and the role they play in the upbringing of the child to the back ground. Because of this, the onus now lies on the parents and teachers alone to give their kids the proper guidance needed to live life. Another thing is that the less emphasis given to the concept of religion and the ethics it teaches has also eroded the society of morals, so parental guidance now has more than a thousand functions to perform unlike before.
Any kid that lacks parental guidance shows this in the society through different negative ways, and this menace must be checked. But the lack of parental guidance for kids is not because the parents are not there. One of the reasons why some kids do not get the proper parental guidance is because their parents are divorced and therefore they are either trained by a single parent or by none at all. Others lose their parents at a tender age and have to grow according to the dictates of the street. But the most significant reasons for this is that many parents renege on their functions as parents, while others do not know exactly what they are supposed to offer their kids in terms of parental guidance and their roles as parents.
Rudiments of good parental guidance
The number one thing you must observe is that your child wants you to be there for him or her, so proper parental guidance entails that you must be involved in his of her life. But you also must know that there are some levels of involvement you must avoid. You must be physically present at home to counsel and know about your child’s problems. But you must avoid such things like doing his homework for him. This is not right because the teacher cannot access your child properly if you do this.
Another way through which you must show proper parental guidance is by doing what is right. You must be careful about what you do in front of the kid. Just know that they have great memories and will always imitate you. Whatever you do gets to their subconscious. So, you must not be impulse driven in your actions if you must get parental guidance right.
The next is when it comes to love. There is this saying that while you can do other things in excess for your kid, you can never show her excess love. Here, we want to say that love does not entail being lenient. Avoid over pampering her and giving her excessive material possessions. All these must be avoided in place of the real love which is realistic.
You must also know that children have particular problems according to their stages in life. For example, if you have an eight your old kid and you notice that he is now very inquisitive in class, this is an academic good. It is also this same drive at this time of his life that makes him to argue out many things with you at the table. These are things you must consider when you handle your kid. And to get your parental guidance right, you have to adapt the type of training you give to your child to accommodate all the aforementioned factors.
You also need to have rules and regulations. The truth is that the nature of man has made it imperative that rules must be used at all times. Actually, these rules are what keep our actions in check. You need to work on his or her compliance at this tender age. If you do not instill the virtue of managing himself at this age, he will find it difficult to do this when he grows up. You must know his where about, his company and what he is doing at any point in time as a child. You do not only give him the rules to follow, you have to follow some rules and let him know you are following such. This will compel him to join you in this.
You have to instill and foster independent in your child by setting limits for him. When this is done, he will learn to control himself and have a direction for his life.
Other parental guidance rule you must follow includes making sure that the rules you set for yourself and your child are consistent. If you insist on one rule today only to change it tomorrow, it will not augur well with his development. Let the rules remain. You must also try to explain these parental guidance rules for him, so that he knows the reasons why you are doing what you are doing. This will make him not to feel that you are being so strict or wicked and also to see that what you are doing is for his own good.
Another thing is not to use harsh discipline on him. There are some people who believe that your child should never be hit at all. But I am not one of those. I believe a child can be flogged when he or she goes wrong, but this should not be so intense. It is just to give minimal pain and to get them to know that they have done wrong. Everybody uses some level of deterrence. This must also be used, but in the most minimal level and it must be aimed at only correcting.
You also have to treat your kid with great respect. Explain all things to him. Listen to his own views when he talks and also consider these views when taking decisions. Be polite to them when you speak, applying courtesy in speech and modesty in action.
A case for proper parental guidance
The truth is that more than half of the cases of antisocial behaviors that happen in our present day society are caused by deficiencies in parental guidance. And this mostly results from the issue of the lack of the required family bonds. The fact is that the influences that the modern culture is coming with are completely on the negative angle. This is the reason why there is a growing need for parents that will be able to make conscious and concerted efforts in the formation of their children. The issue of moral relativism that has beclouded our society is one that needs to be tackled from the cradle, and it is only the parents that are in the right position to do this through proper parental guidance. This is why the concept of character development that leads to the formation of moral values cannot be overemphasized. In this regard, the parents come in as moral guides and figures of authority that are very clear and knowledgeable about the values they want to transmit to their off springs and the ones they want to repel in them.
However, while doing this, the parents must be aware of the fact that the styles with which they impart these trainings are very important. You have to study each kid well, so as to know the style of formation that is good for him or her. However, one issue all parents must avoid in any form of parental guidance is drifting to either permissiveness or authoritarianism. When a parent is permissive, he tries everything possible to be acceptable to the kids. In the process, he fails to set limits that must be followed, and does not respond well to disobedience. In fact, he becomes passive. On the other hand, the authoritarian parents always set rules for their children and insures that these rules are obeyed at all means. They can be high handed in the bid to insure that these dictates are followed, and sometimes the kids are hurt.
The balance should be the third which is the authoritative parents. Here, the proper parental guidance is given, which involves setting serious limits that must be followed. But in the same time, he insures that there is a very nurturing home environment. They are always trying to guide the kids, but not control them. They explain all the steps they take and the things they do, while also entertaining opinions from the kids. This is the best approach in parental guidance.
Advantages of parental guidance
The greatest of the advantages of parental guidance when properly carried out is that it fosters honesty among the kids. The kids that are well guided by the parents imbibe the virtues of self-control and self-reliance. They are kind and cheerful in all ramifications. When it comes to academic angles, they come up with very balanced curiosity, motivation and the desire to achieve great and good things. Above all, they transmit this parental guidance to their own children.