Breaking up the Right Way
Falling in love brings with it such happiness that we all wish it would last forever but in most situations that is never the case. Breakups sometimes become inevitable in any relationship and however devastating the experience may be it is always better to end it when it is not working out rather than stay in an unhappy relationship. Breaking up is not easy because your partner will be hurting as much as you are, maybe more. When it becomes necessary to break up however it is always wise to do it because in the end it sets both of you free.
When does a break up become necessary?
Every relationship has its ups and downs, good times and bad times. Some relationships are however filled with more sadness, and the parties involved have more bad times than they do good times. There are many reasons for breaking up. Sometimes the feeling of love and affection just disappears and it feels like you are being forced to stay in the relationship. At other times it may be because of infidelity or some misunderstanding. The signs preceding a break up include; lack of sufficient communication, feelings of frustrations and depression, lack of happiness and constant arguing.
Delivering the news
Breaking up is always easier if it is a mutual agreement, but again this is hardly ever the case. In most cases, one party gets tired of the relationship or feels that he or she cannot continue in it while the other feels that there is still hope for restoring it to what it once was, then breaking up becomes very difficult.
If you feel that you are constantly unhappy in the relationship, you need to seriously think about the action you would like to take. Do you think there is anything that can be done to save it, are you willing to put in more time and effort in trying to salvage it? Do you think your partner can do anything to make the relationship better? It your answer to all of the above questions is no, then it is time to tell your partner of your decision to break up. It is very important to ensure that the decision you are making is the right one otherwise you may be making a very big mistake, hence think critically before deciding on breaking up.
There is no easy way of delivering the news of a break up to your partner. It would definitely be easier to cut all communications and to disappear without a trace, but that would be unfair to your partner. However bad or hurting the reason for the break up may be, it is always fair to let them know that you are calling it quits, you it to them. Disappearing without a word makes you a coward.
Do not blame your partner for your decision. This is a major cause of break up fights. You should also not blame anything or anyone else for your break up. Blaming someone or something will only cause more pain and regret and will probably not change the fact that you are calling it quits. At times you may be tempted to take the blame for everything. Statements like it’s not you it’s me, you deserve someone better, etc. do not make it less hurtful. Simply but clearly state your feelings and your decision without blaming anything. Giving reasons why you have decided to break up may be hard without blaming someone therefore ensure to avoid words such as “you are” or “you do”. Also avoid asking why the relationship had to end because this may lead to shifting blame.
Never ever break up with someone via phone, texts messages, e- mails or even via social media chats, worse if breaking up through a third party. There is nothing more humiliating than that, plus it makes you look like a coward. When you have decided to call it quits, it is dignified to meet your partner and have a serious talk. Ensure also that it is in a private place. Break ups can turn out to be dramatic and you do not want everyone you know talking about you and your ex, it is also
What next after the break up
Loneliness is guaranteed after a break up whether you are the one who decided to break up or not. Learn to become independent and content with your company. This may be difficult at the beginning but with time you get used to it. Never succumb to the urge to call up your ex or to ask mutual friends about his or her whereabouts. This prolongs the healing process. Avoid the urge to have a rebound relationship, this may seem like the only way to fasten healing but it is not only unfair to you but to your new partner. In fact it may be the cause of more pain, and keep in mind that life does not end after a break up, it is only the start of a new era in your life.