Dynamics of Abusive Relationship
Man was made to love and to be loved back. The satisfaction that comes with the feeling of being loved is one that nothing else can give. In trying to fulfill our thirst for love however, we make some mistakes that can ruin our lives a great deal. Being in an abusive relationship can have very detrimental effects on one’s life, it can completely destroy love lives and change our perception of love.
Types of abuse in a relationship
There are different types of abuse in relationships. The most commonly known type is physical abuse probably because it can be seen. It causes physical harm and distress to the abused since the abuser uses actual force. Physical abuse can be in many forms. These include invasion of personal space in a way that a person feels threatened and assaults.
Other types of abuse in relationships include psychological abuse. This is done in a number of ways and its end result is that it causes fear and negative self image. It includes negative criticism of a partner’s actions especially in front of others, verbal abuse and calling them names such as stupid. Abuse can also be emotional.
Signs of an abusive relationship
Abuse in a relationship does not just begin all of a sudden, it is a progressive occurrence. The abuser has to gain control over his or her partner before the abuse starts and this may go unnoticed for quite some time. The common signs of an abusive relationship include calling of names, intimidation especially using threats and even blaming of his or her partner for every single mistake or problem in the relationship. When a partner does not have a reliable source of income, the other can use financial control as a way of gaining total control over his or her partner. After gaining the control needed the abuse starts and more often than not it becomes a daily occurrence that the other partner has to deal with or learn to cope with.
The feeling of fear in a relationship is always a sign of an unhealthy relationship, here are a few signs that one should look out for; feeling pressurized to commit, too much jealousy, while jealousy is normal in a relationship too much insecurity may be a cause for alarm as it may suggest that your partner is trying to control you. Also if a partner tries to isolate you from friends and family or even your job you should really be alarmed. The most commonly ignored sign of an abusive relationship however is the failure of one’s partner to take responsibility for his or her actions and decisions. A partner who blames you or others for his or her mistakes is in most cases an abuser.
Reasons for abusive relationships
Many times people in abusive relationships do not understand why it happens to them or even why the person they love so mush and who was once so good to them could turn into an enemy. There many reasons why abuse occurs in relationships. First of all, abuse gives the abuser a sense of control over his or her partner and while normally there is nothing good with this, they love the feeling. It enables them to act selfishly without caring for the feelings of their partners and because of the threat paused they get their way always. This enables them to avoid responsibility or blame and to get everything they want from their partner.
An abusive past can also be a cause of abuse in a relationship. Being abused or witnessing your parent being abused can negatively influence ones behavior in that in most situations, people who have been abused or have witnessed abuse end up being abusers. This is thought to be because they get the idea that in a relationship you either become the abuser or the abused and because no one would want to relieve a horrible past, they chose to be abusers.
There have been lots of changes in the world. Anciently women were thought to be lesser beings and thus abuse was accepted but with changing times, they are now equal to men with equal rights and freedoms. This has not greatly changed the patterns of abuse as the most abused still remain to be women although in some situations they can be the abusers. This is thought to be because men are naturally aggressive and have a naturally need to be dominant. They still tend to hold on to the notion that women are weaker beings and thus should be under their control. This becomes more of a problem if the community norms support male dominance.
An abusive relationship has a lot of negative effects on the abused. It can cause physical pain and damage, hospitalization and in some cases even death. Emotional abuse on the other hand can cause depression, fear, anxiety and low self esteem.